Modern mothers prefer a good nights sleep to sex

Jun 2 2005

In a survey by two popular magazines it appears that mums today find it harder to get a good night's sleep, and are getting around 30% less sleep than their own mothers did.

A survey of 2,000 new parents and 2,000 people aged 55 to 65 was carried out by Mother And Baby and Yours magazines and it found that today's parents try all kinds of things to get their babies to sleep through the night, including taking the infant into their own bed.

In contrast, parents in the 1960s and 1970s tended to say their babies had slept peacefully in their own cots.

It seems sleep starvation is a huge problem for many of today's parents.

On average, the new mothers of young babies reported that they only had three and a half hours sleep a night, compared to five hours which the older generation said they used to get.

As most women today have to return to work after having a baby it means they are unable to catch up on sleep during the day, and eight out of 10 mums who had returned to work said a lack of sleep affected their work, with half saying their boss was not very understanding.

Two thirds of those surveyed said the "sleep starvation" left them feeling bad-tempered, with the same proportion reporting irritation with their partner.

Others reported being tearful, forgetful, depressed or despairing, and a third reported being more accident prone or clumsy, 27% unable to function properly, and another 27% irritable with their baby.

Six out of 10 said a lack of sleep has "spoilt their sex-life" and 84% say they "prefer sleep to sex".

But the survey found only around a third of women who had been mothers in the 1960s and 1970s, when most did not work, ever felt bad-tempered or irritable with their partner due to lack of sleep - and only 12% say lack of sleep spoilt their sex life.

The situation is not a lot better with the dads as they also reported sleep deprivation, and more than half said they got up in the night to tend to their children, whereas 71% of fathers in the 1960s and 1970s never got out of bed.

And it gets worse, babies' sleep patterns also seem to be less settled, as babies wake up three times a night and take 33 minutes to settle each time, compared to babies in the 1960s and 1970s who tended to only wake twice in the night and took just 20 minutes to settle.

In conclusion the survey found that todays parents now take twice as long to get their babies to sleep in the evening as their parents' generation did - an average of 56 minutes compared to 28, and the methods mothers used have also changed.

In the 1960s and 1970s, babies tended to be put in their cots and left to drift off, whereas now parents are most likely to feed or cuddle their baby until they fall asleep, and one in 10 said they let their baby drift off in front of the TV.

When asked how they viewed advice from their own mothers or mother-in-laws, three quarters of todays mums said they were irritated - but 62% did admit "she is usually right".

Elena Dalrymple, editor of Mother and Baby magazine, says sleep starvation is a huge problem for today's parents, and many put themselves under immense pressure to be perfect, and having a baby who sleeps well is seen as a sign of being successful parents - despite the fact young babies need to feed at night and take months to settle into a good night-time routine.