'Sleep divorce' trend reflects changing attitudes toward sleep and relationships

By Vijay Kumar MalesuReviewed by Danielle Ellis, B.Sc.Jul 18 2024

Sleep is essential for our overall health and well-being. However, many bed partners struggle to achieve a good night's rest due to incompatible sleep habits. According to a 2024 survey conducted by the American Academy of Sleep Medicine (AASM), 29% of Americans have chosen to sleep in another bed within the same bedroom or in a different space in their home to accommodate their partner's sleep needs better.

The trend of sleeping in separate spaces is becoming more prevalent, with 20% of respondents in 2023 admitting to occasionally sleeping in another room and 15% doing so consistently to accommodate their partner.

Dr. Seema Khosla, an AASM spokesperson, explains, "The idea of 'sleep divorce' means sleeping in different beds or bedrooms. It is an option for couples seeking better sleep quality." She emphasizes that this term, while it might sound alarming, is not indicative of a troubled relationship.

Rather, it is about prioritizing sleep health and addressing issues such as snoring, tossing and turning, or differing sleep schedules that can negatively impact a relationship. "A sleep divorce is not a sign of a relationship in trouble," Khosla reassures, "It allows for an honest conversation about disruptive habits and enables each person to enjoy uninterrupted, restorative sleep."

The survey reveals that Americans are making several adjustments to their sleep routines to accommodate their partners. One-third (33%) of United States (U.S.) adults reported going to sleep at a different time than desired. Additionally, one in ten (11%) use a silent alarm, and 10% have tried the "Scandinavian sleep method," which involves sleeping with separate blankets or comforters. Over half (56%) of the survey participants admitted to modifying their sleep routines in some way to accommodate their partners.

Dr. Khosla underscores the importance of high-quality sleep, recommending that adults get seven or more hours of sleep per night to promote optimal health, productivity, and daytime alertness. She notes, "We know that getting a good night's sleep is important for both health and happiness. So, if you're continually sacrificing sleep quality and quantity — due to your partner's persistent snoring, for example — then it may be time to discuss your sleeping arrangements."

Snoring can be a significant disruptor of sleep, and while not everyone who snores has sleep apnea, it is a warning sign that should not be ignored. Dr. Khosla advises, "If snoring is the culprit, then you should encourage your partner to talk to a doctor about obstructive sleep apnea." This condition is characterized by snoring accompanied by choking, gasping, or silent breathing pauses during sleep. Other symptoms include unrefreshing sleep, insomnia, morning headaches, nocturia, difficulty concentrating, memory loss, or difficulty staying awake while watching TV or driving.

The survey provides a detailed breakdown of how different demographics adjust sleep routines. For example, men are more likely than women to use a silent alarm (15% vs. 7%) and to go to sleep at a different time than desired (36% vs. 30%). Age also plays a role in sleep adjustments. Adults aged 25-34 are most likely to sleep in another bed in the same bedroom (23%), sleep in another space (26%), or go to sleep at a different time than desired (43%) to accommodate a bed partner.

Regional differences also emerged from the survey. Adults in the Midwest are 11% more likely to sleep in another space (19%) than in another bed in the same bedroom (8%) to accommodate their partner. In contrast, the Western U.S. shows a higher tendency to use silent alarms, with 18% of respondents indicating they use this method.

Generational differences are also notable. Gen Z and Millennials are equally likely to sleep in another bed in the same bedroom (18%) and sleep in another space (24%) to accommodate their partner. This shows a significant shift in how younger generations approach sleep adjustments for the sake of maintaining healthy relationships.

To support those seeking better sleep, the AASM provides resources and information on finding a local AASM-accredited sleep center. The AASM commissioned the survey, which was conducted by Atomik Research. The online survey included 2,006 adults in the U.S., with a margin of error of +/- 2 percentage points and a confidence interval of 95%. The fieldwork was carried out between May 16-24, 2024.

Established in 1975, the AASM aims to advance sleep care and enhance sleep health to improve lives. With a combined membership of 12,000 accredited sleep centers and individuals, the AASM sets standards and encourages excellence in sleep medicine, healthcare, education, and research.